As far as I'm concerned, the only legal definition of a woman should be: When Shania Twain says, "let's go girls", do you go? If so, girl.

There are so many cringe bumper stickers but grown men with “Lions Not Sheep” on their truck is like…ok buddy.

Trying to a manifest a free pho delivery

employed adults after surviving one day of work (the cycle repeats itself tomorrow)

Hate being in an uber with no window tint. Being paraded around town like a WHORE!

This was a no skip shuffle for a lil park run

I be like "I needed that laugh" and it be something I said

Not to be dramatic but there is no one I want to burn in hell more than the people who don’t reply when I say “hello” or “good morning” on the hiking trail.

Sometimes I don't know how to finish a sentence so I just don't

I’ve worked with the homeless I’ve worked with the toothless

The biggest scam is that 60 minute massages are not 60 minutes hands-on.

onion rings? I’m answering

This luteal phase kicked my ass like none other

My Snapchat memories only exist to embarrass me

Survived the world’s longest flight, but at what cost?

Spirit Halloween porch animatronics when u walk by them in the store

Currently reaping what I sowed 😔 (paying off all my credit card travel)

im boyfriend

and for the lady, perhaps a gun?

if i had a boyfriend i'd feed him apples and stroke the back of his head like a well-kept horse. but i'd be cruel to him also