why is being alive so expensive. i’m not even having a good time

I'm sorry... I'm so sorry.

me: you ever wanna like. pop one of those tide pods into your mouth? they look like they’d taste delicious. weiss: … no? the fuck?

i'm a stay at home mom without the kids

hey siri how can you tell if a girl likes you back

𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝙐𝙋 !

Unfortunately, the real world isn't the same as a fairy tale.

any stairway is a stairway to heaven if you're clumsy enough

ninjas of love is art, first of all

I loved them like I never thought I could love anybody.

everyone talking about seasonal depression hitting after halloween, i got nothing to worry about. my seasonal depression is year round baby. three six five

yang: does anyone me: no yang: damn thanks anyway

this one is for retail workers *hits all the customers with gambol shroud*

I told you Adam, it's over.

how can i communicate to wild cats that i am their ally

weiss: and they were ROOMMATES me: oh my god they were roommates

the moon is a lesbian and the ocean is her girlfriend

what if 😳 what if my b 😳 what if my back didnt hurt 😳

i am a simple creature. every day i am sleepy

And your voice is like a song in the breeze.