Spaceballs was funny. I'm not saying it isn't funny. I'm just saying it's not very funny.

Your dad wants a burger for Father’s Day. That’s about it. And maybe an hour to himself to get a haircut and wash his car.

I was a little late but close.

My wife will say, "I want a relaxing dinner out." And she means a restaurant with a wait staff. But to me, waiting for a waitress to refill our drinks, or trying to get a waiter's attention is not more relaxing than going somewhere that I can do all that myself.

The WNBA is the weirdest league. I clicked on a WNBA story at some point, so now I get fed WNBA material on webpages, here etc. None of it is positive. It's always, "Player X calls out league" or, "___ is a Wake Up Call for the WNBA." It's like the league runs on negativity.

If you go to the movies with your dad for Father’s Day and he falls asleep in the theater- let him. Don’t even say anything about it afterwards.

I remember they would sometimes schedule soccer games for my kids on Father’s Day and some of the parents would sarcastically say, “just what you wanted to do on Father’s Day, right?” But it’s like, actually yeah. That’s exactly what I would want to do.

They did this with Peyton Manning when he had, “just one ring.” There’s no such thing as, “just one ring.”

Happy Father’s Day weekend. Savor it. No matter what stage of life your kids are in, enjoy it. You only get so many.

When you see a baby in a shopping cart or being held by the parent, and the parent has their back to you- don’t you feel obligated to make a funny face to the baby so it smiles?

The entire national spirit is lifted during football season. You can feel it during the offseason.

When you show a coworker how to do something they'll go, "Oh, ok. I see. Now I got it." But then like 2 days later you realize they didn't see, and they did not get it.

People spent so much time arguing if OKC vs Indiana in the Finals is good for the NBA, but when ESPN’s coverage of it probably repulses way more people. You think fans want to see Perk spouting his stupidity in your biggest event?

He’s announcing Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are getting married.

When you hear a company name like TWG Global it could be owned by some guy printing business cards in his garage, or some dude with enough money to buy the Lakers.

If you heard about the Lakers being sold on the radio like I did, when you heard them say it was to, “Mark Wa-“ didn’t part of you think they were going to say Mark Wahlberg.

So much online sports writing is really atrocious. And I don't just mean the AI content. Even articles with a writer's name (who probably also use AI) will have poor grammar, the thoughts will jump around with no sensible flow, etc. There's just a lot of bad content.

“Oh that’s awesome you put grapes and nuts in your chicken salad. Now it’s so elevated.” (Throws in trash)

I put my coins in and died within 15 seconds.