It’s nice to finally have a day to talk about Star Wars

Starting the rumor that Benson Boone is Pink's nephew

“Why don’t you try for something like that? You never try for things like that.” — My mom, to me, about hosting Wheel Of Fortune

Hey! I’m working on the all-new Sketchfest Chicago! If you have a sketch team and want to visit Chicago this November, submissions are open! sketchfestchicago.com

Would you like us to fill out the form with your saved information (oops it’s all incorrect somehow)

I think I could write The Song Of The Summer or at least a song of a summer

If they cut funding to the National Weather Service how will anyone know if it’s gonna be raining men

Hell just got a new prince (complimentary)

In the final seconds of the series, Carrie Bradshaw looks up and finally notices the Bat Signal for the first time

If you major in communications do they make you learn Morse Code

Something new from me:

If I ever win an award I'm going to be like Lady Gaga and dedicate it to Lady Gaga's fans

I was concerned with how goofy I was feeling until I downloaded the sombr app

Most people don’t realize that Mr Rogers’ quote about looking to the helpers during a crisis was originally part of a collab with Hamburger Helper

In honor of Robert Redford I’ve decided to become handsome

Someone did a cartwheel at the gym and I’m the only one who saw it

It’s fucking Go-Time

Would never apologize to my inner child; easily half this shit is his fault

I think this song is probably about me (ugh jk ignore me I’m so vain)

I wrote one of these! Always wanted to be on a “Year-End List (Complimentary)”