Me: I’ll exercise once I have free time Me with nothing but free time: I’ll sit

corona makes her clothes fall off

if you’re tryna come over and play smash hmu

i feel like jesus would have spit on the cop #capitalism

these are the games we playin

iris

he could get it

sonic is either god or could kill god and i do not believe there is a difference

Me : *kills a cockroach* Ants taking the cockroach:

st8 facts 😂 deadass would've been like "OH YOU SERIOUS SERIOUS??? I CAN LIVE MY LIFE AWAY FROM THESE BITCHES" like finally lmao

ok but imma have to go w my man in the hazmat suit

yo my nephew just turned 3 and this boy will straight click the "i can't talk right now" message button and go back to watching his youtube

wine drunk me is so smart but i also get so damn horny and extremely funny and unable to be serious

me realizing imma have to go to work after this shits over with

me walking on my boyfriends nerves like

me rereading my texts from when i was wine drunk or high as balls

i’m sorry but em deciding to learn the banjo bc of the quarantine and gays deciding to dye their hair bc of the quarantine? same energy

my boyfriend (as we cuddle): what if i like bit your whole nipple off and then kiss you and put it in your mouth?...... wait that'd be gross