this type of night

My virtual penguins remove my tether to reality

the sound of hooves clacking behind me. Sweat drips down my forehead as terror overcomes me, I feel a sharp bite on my forearm. Never unfollow your local horse girl on instagram

can’t keep pretending to laugh at her fucking vine references

Pain.

if I had a therapist all they would ever hear about are the thunderstorms at rainforest cafe

another day like this and I’m joining the galactic empire😞

Oh to be a man at a watermelon convention...

I take a sip during my peaceful morning and hope for a delicious coffee taste. Instead HOT TONGE BURN TONGUE BURN BURN

What if young was spelled yongue

Why are people So Mad about A storm in the Capital. There was literally a Storm In New Orleans that was way worse. All you have to do is use an UmBrella. Stupid People.

why do people always say bleshu when I sneeze

one day I will find out where the other 98% of milk is...

With inflation, a picture is now worth 1,121 words

Ran out of Denny’s buy one get one free coupons today…

I’ve been in a psychological war all week with the fruit files in my kitchen

When you get fly as fuck for class & she absent

Don’t rip out the bugs under your skin yet they’re still filming a Bugs Life 2

Old people fucking love that alien sci-fi Apple ringtone