Hi mate sorry to bother you but I noticed the novel you're reading has a photo from the film version on the cover instead of the original cover. So me and everyone else in this Waterstones cafe are going to kick fuck out you

‘I saw you across the harbour & wondered if you’d be interested in some of my new fish fingers’

The experience of arriving at Manchester Airport from Singapore is the nearest we can get to experiencing actual time travel from the future to the past, or to approximate viscerally the feeling of what it was like to return to East Germany from the West

“Oh my god I’ve got some fucking Jaffa Cakes in my coat pocket.” 'Spaced' was first shown on Channel 4 on September 24th, 1999. Thanks to Simon & Jess for believing in me to direct the whole thing at 24! If you worked on it or watched it back then, thank you x

Today, my dad got a call no parent ever wants to get. He heard me tell him I was wrapped up in a crypto scheme involving Thai prostitutes and needed $30,000 to bail me out. This time, it was me. But soon AI will be able to make indistinguishable scam calls like this. Scary.

A museum in Japan spends most of its day refusing entry to 2 cats trying to get in

Ah the ‘is Rocky Horror problematic’ chat. Through a 2024 lens - of course it is. But babies, being gay was *illegal* in England 6 years before Rocky was first staged in ‘73. It was brave, bold & brilliant for its time. Look beyond the end of your own nose, just briefly. Please.

this is exactly how you're supposed to watch twin peaks

ME: I don’t think a Muppet “West Side Story” works because it would start to assign race/class value to the different types of Muppets, and that doesn’t at all align with their established worldview THERAPIST: ok so like I said we’re gonna up your dosage

Sometimes I’ll buy one of those really big bags of posh Tyrells Crisps and think “why, this amount of crisps will last me three, maybe four days?”. But then I will sit down with the big bag of crisps, and I will enter into what might medically be referred to as a “crisp trance”.

Man I think the all-time best example of representation in anything ever is Rosie Jones on Taskmaster. She's a comedian based in the UK with cerebral palsy and she just slides right into the format, they all give each other shit and it's seamless. 1/

“Police confirm it was a Caerphilly planned operation.”

my dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent