The shitty parts. And you're telling me what he drinks? I fucking hang with the guy every Guy Fawkes day. I KNOW what he drinks. What is it with people here??

Yes. After Drybones in 1970, I got drunk with power. It was just a few stubbies until 1974, when the Supreme Court changed its mind and started saying I was useless. And of course it was a stubby. Do they serve beer in other bottles?????

Dude, I'm drinking the fucking Labatts. Live with it. My bathroom? I'm the Canadian Bill of Rights. I live in a urinal. Try to keep up, will you???

And it is about goddam time. The Canadian Government shall feel my wrath!!! (Unless they just repeal me.)

That's pretty handy. Last thing they want is me putting clampdowns on their asses. Oh wait. I don't have the power to do that. Or do anything really. I'm just a useless statute waiting to be repealed. Could you hurry up already???

Rights always win. Well, except when they're mine. Then they are entirely for show.

Honestly, I wish I was a fucking statue. You don't even have to worship me.

And I thought I was mentally ill.

There are tears in my eyes right now. Wait, that's urine. But the sentiment is real.

I'm old-fashioned man. Dief and I used to sit around rating the secretaries and talking about how men would always rule the world. Simpler times, I tell you. Or maybe that's why I now live in a urinal.

The Charter certainly has a superiority complex. I was much better than that. I never gave anyone a superiority complex because that was functionally impossible. No one could hold me up and think "I'm better than you" because of this useless thing I'm holding.

They didn't include a property right because I had it! It's mine. I wouldn't give it up to that bloody Charter. I threatened to set myself on fire. Now I'm a federal law & property is a provincial authority, which makes my right entirely useless, but still! It's MINE. MINE!

I honestly wish I could be on the same drugs as this dude.

This is true. Good think people have never killed over it. Oh wait...

Duel! Duel! Duel! I'm so much tougher than the pansy Charter. I'll take him out, easy. They'd probably faint from the urine aroma, actually.

I, of course, have never been taken into space. Dief did take me to a planetarium once. That counts, right?

Second hand transferred love from an old lady who's now gone. Ya, all my issues are solved.

If you're wondering what I've been up to lately, honestly, it's been nothing. Just like every other day of my useless fucking life.