y’all are fuckin crazy. i can’t wait to get sent to a nursing home.

There is no depression a little rouge can't fix

i wanna lick your face and punch you in the butthole

penis deodorant extra strength

Picking my nose in a sensual way

This is what you would look like if you were black or Asain

My girlfriend says I have like the best penis and I didn’t even have to threaten her that much

Naming my kid Sven so he thinks he’s Norwegian or some shit

People who sleep on their stomachs are psychopaths.

I said I was a "bawler" not a "baller." I meant that I cry a lot.

I keep forgetting I have this trash account

[standing in front of Stonehenge]: is this all it does

Dudes shouldn't carry umbrellas

Can't, looking for a woman more fucked up than me.

I love this sound..

not everyone is going to like you and I’m one of them.

lost.