anyone else just get this text??

may she rest in peace

from today every single person in america who can legally drink was born after 9/11 which is wild

sorry liz but unfortunately i cannot afford to pay my respects 😔

me on a Sunday her majesty morning after 2 small drinks 🤝 lying in (a) state

she thicc like an A380 😏

what’s your favourite breakfast cereal meat (shreddies/cheerios/rice krispies/etc) to pair with your breakfast cereal veg (corn flakes)?

at least we have four home secretaries now, hopefully one of them will do a Good Job

bored tonight, anyone fancy triggered a general election with me?

my goal is life is to own half of one of the haunted mansions on Eton Ave

how much must one fuck around in order to achieve nirvana?

love how on my period a large domino’s pizza is a cute snack

why do politicians think you can KPI art lol

i’ve never watched The White Lotus but this theme song is gonna be in my spotify wrapped for 2023

blackout blinds < noise-cancelling curtains

me (hungry) to the 4th portion of healthy meal prep i made and froze two weeks ago

Gen Z is short for Jennethen Zed

fun fact: shoplifting from supermarket chains is actually community service