Chx breast, spring mix, and creamy balsamic all day

6mo postpartum attending baby showers. Looking at registries of first time moms, scrolling through their items, while making perfunctory remarks on the item they won’t use and don’t need. Half of the stuff was on my registry too 😅

Avoiding eye contact with my baby like he a bum on the street so he don’t start crying in the play pen

I love how I tell friends to have a safe flight as if they’re flying the plane

Someone put me on game to dark chocolate peanut butter cups and sour Scandinavian swimmers from Trader Joe’s and now my teeth are about to fall out

Me and hubby had such a great date night and of course forgot to take a picture

When you hide things from the baby, but end up hiding it from yourself

Y’all my baby and puppy were sitting at the door staring out together and I didn’t have my phone to take a picture…

Y’all this baby is runnin’ me ragged

So is everyone running marathons now??? Will I get to keep my .01% status?

Y’all my baby likes chitterlings

Trained myself in the cold enough to the point where I look forward to running in 30+ degree weather.

Who is actually leaving during the middle of the movie to get their refill on the large popcorn?

I have been obsessed with cottage cheese lately

Now that I’m now pregnant anymore, I’m starting to realize a lot of things I ate during pregnancy were indeed pregnancy cravings. I genuinely thought I didn’t have any, but I haven’t had whole milk, or sofritas from Chipotle, or McDonald’s in 10 months

Have you ever been to a fast casual joint and they are slammed and STRUGGLING and you want to rip your eyeballs out because you can’t go hop back there to help them throw food in a bowl 🫠🙃🫠🙃🫠🙃🫠🙃