People love to chop stuff

It’s all chic to me

🚨 INTERNET EXPLORERS IS COMING TO LA! 📆 9/28 @ 8pm @ El Cid 💫 Me & @SamanthaaaReece plus FRIENDS: Akilah Hughes Alyssa Limperis Taylor Lorenz Monique Moses Travis Helwig Becky Chicoine @rachelpegram (((RachelJoravsky))) w/ live music by day v. era! 👇👇👇 dice.fm/partner/pico-p…

You know those diners where the servers are rude to you on purpose? Why

I go to this workout class where it’s yoga but it’s a little different.

Yeah sex is cool but have you tried helping people

Did you know UPS builds their delivery routes with a preference for right turns? That’s because right turns are efficient. Where can you take more right turns in your life? For example, as an independently wealthy father of 2 with a gorgeous wife who does all the kid stuff, I

isn’t it so funny vampires are afraid of garlic. garlic is good!

Ever, in the history of the world, has a dog caught a squirrel

moving to LA has caused me to be a simp for Starbucks

Examples of architecture styles in LA: -Big Italy -Regular Ohio -Fairytale -Spaceship -Hidden Complex Behind Trees (aka Famous and/or Cult Style)

It’s like Robert Frost said “the only way out is up your butt and around the corner”

Ty ANOTHER HOLE IN THE HEAD FILM FESTIVAL and Warped VHS (Benji) for the warped cosmic shorts!! Becky Chicoine and I had creepy time with No Man's Land Short Film and all the other films! 👽🔮✨

Someone told me last night that they admired how genuine I am on social media. And I could not be more… embarrassed cuz I have been trying to make jokes so I really don’t know (This was genuine)

I just don’t think we’ve gotten a clear answer on why Chinese food made LFO sick

Someone once said to me “you haven’t lived until you’ve had lobster in Maine” and I hope she’s doing ok. Because I’m still living.

This February, I’m excited to launch loyalty perks to anyone that hires me: ✅ free shipping (plane/cab fare on ME) ✅ 15% off a subscription (long term contract) ✅ free swag!!!! (Dog pics) Ready to make some chi-COIN together? :) Hurry, this offer expires when I say so!

Sorry, what did u say? I wasn’t paying attention because I was watching a video of a woman filling up a water cup from Starbucks to a faster paced version of Love Game by Lady Gaga.

Time to watch!

#caturday morning cartoons