S/O to 💀 torie for keeping my dad for an extended vacation. I know hes having the time of his afterlife 🙌

McDonalds sprite is the tits

I think about how I used to go house to house selling GS cookies by myself, regardless of what I was told not to do. I never got murdered and I think that's where my false sense of security came from

Packing peanuts should be outlawed

I had a realization that I'm old today. My Aldi got a self checkout and it was the most exciting part of my day

Who else watched this 55 times already?

My nephews spent the night and were hot so I gave them ice packets...not 15 minutes later they busted the ice pack. I plead stupidity for giving it to them in the first place 😅

Look it's 💀 torie comfort movie

Manifest the life you want and you'll get what you deserve

I take a lot of extra steps around my house so I dont disrupt my extremely anxious cat. We've lived together 3 years but she still thinks I'm trying to kill her a third of the time.

Everything is alright // Motion City Soundtrack

aRe YoU pLaYiNg ChRiStMaS mUsIc AlReAdY?

Been down the lost animals reuniting with owners tiktok & theres as many tears as you'd expect

Feelin sick? Head to Mickey D's. Getcha some nugs, fries, and large Sprite. That shits medicinal

I'd choose pizza lunchables over most foods anyday

The root of my childhood trauma

Okay I'll say it. Fireworks are overrated

Fiiiine....I'll rewatch Girls

You go BOIII

Life plans. Step 1: win the lottery. Step 2: buy land and have a cat sanctuary full of furry besties. Step 3: win at life.