I want to completely destroy myself, drink and smoke so bad that I forget past two years ever existed, may be suffer a memory loss or something.

The memories of past 2 years will always hinder me from being happy or making others feel happy.

Completely crushed from inside but I am relishing the pain now. I want to get completely crippled by my pain.

Chup ho jaa bhai, Attention starved chutiya is no. 1 hoaxer of India currently

Life is shit, but at least I discovered a 90s banger romantic bhai song today

Every day putting on same mask, performing in same circus in front of same audience. Hoping one day the spectators will clap but no one claps; they don't even look at it properly.

Ek too sala vo MC sangria pill ke threads padh ke seedha Suicide karne ka mann karta hai.

In a slaughter house each hen despite knowing the previous hen's fate resists and cries with same energy as previous One. I see people chimping over tribulations and cruelty of life and society as same. Praying to any God is one such form of chimping.

I however have promised myself to be as calm as a cucumber through out all the tortures, "Abandon all hope, abandon all grief"

Sometimes I wonder how hard would it have been for my idealistic father to cope with the fact that his son is not going to do anything great to make him proud. May be it would have even more difficult than it was for me.

3rd today. I am falling in same pattern again and again, may God give me strength to bear the pain tonight.

Once you fail to achieve your dreams, any occupation after that feels like a burden on soul, Burden creates pain, pain forces you to look for escapism, escapism causes disassociation from surrounding this leads to inefficiency at work and which invites more pain.

Terrifying loop, but sadly stuck in it since the age of 16. May not even my enemies get into this loop.

आज से 4 साल पहले मैं भी हिंदूत्व का अफ़ीम चाट रहा था... मुस्लिम समाज पर भी बहुत ग़लत टिप्पणी कर रहा था फिर Railway का मैं और मेरा एक class Friend दोनों एक साथ Exam दियें उससे मेरा 8 Mark's ज्यादा था वो आज Job कर रहा है और मैं सड़क का ख़ाक छान रहा हूं... I hate hindutva

I won, Yes reader you read that right I WON, After traversing through burning hell, after experiencing chest tearing pain everyday, after getting ignored and blocked by girl I liked after being not taken seriously anywhere. I am finally at a good place, I made it.

I kept chanting gods name in days of soul crushing pain and he finally brought me to the end of the dark tunnel, I will always remain thankful to all anons who served even an iota of ear to me and pandered to my weirdo activities in this dark phase. You all kept me alive.