A sprinkler system but it’s sprinkles that go on my cake

Sneaking looks at your wife’s bongos pretending like it’s illegal

Y’all ever been in a room when someone quotes zuckerbergs sister and then smiles reminiscing about the inspiration felt bequeathed

Naw this is the biggest danger to your workforce and increasing your wealth you fucking dork

Can you imagine how good the ‘terrorists who tried to kill me are in jail now’ sex is? Hell ye whitmer

Cause they been working on the cat version: PSPSPSPSPSSPSPSPS

Maybe I should get a dog

Lloyd donkel

Every country claims they ALSO shot down an alien like: ‘uhhh….yeah huh but she goes to a different school you don’t know her ‘

Meatball Ron

I would never say Meatball Ron

Do dolphins have milk in their jugs or naw

How much pickle juice is a legal amount to drink

Why can’t I get a corn dog unless there’s a god damn Ferris wheel near by

Captain Blackbeard: GOOD MORNIN’ ME HARDEEEES!!!! Crew: (fully torqued cause it’s morning)

Who’s going to release the lion when Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerbeg fight in the coliseum?

14

What channel do I watch soccer on where they use the field as a green screen and play big titty goth girlfriend porn

NUT CHECK: *but instead of lightly tapping I give my bro the sloppiest double handed top ever