Monday feels. #Snacktime instagram.com/p/Bm_fgtOl7_b/…

At that point in my life where I’m not sure which app to launch; Tinder or Uber Eats

Why does Mesut Özil always look like he got pepper sprayed before running on the pitch? #Arsenal #EuropaLeagueFinal2019

That streaker was more useful than Dele Ali in the first half... #UCL #Streaker #TwoGirlsOneCup

The scariest thing yesterday was that I’m over 30 and my life is still a wreck #Halloween

Still no cigarettes in level 4? So stupid. Just going to drive the black market sales #lockDownSouthAfrica

The thing I miss most about going out is coming home early and saying, “Fuck, people are the worst” before vowing never to go out again for the millionth time.

To the people constantly on the beach/gym/lunch/dinner/getaways during the week: How do you pay for life? I feel like I need to work 3 jobs and if I save for a couple of months maybe, just maybe, I will be able to afford an avo.

Come to think of it, 2019 wasn’t too bad.

Everyone in 2022: “You guys remember that bitch Donald Trump?”

Not trying to get all serious and shit but seriously, fuck Trump.

When someone is saying something poignant online but then they use the ‘word’ “y’all” and you can’t help but think they’re an idiot and their point means nothing.

Bye Trump! ...you doos.

I could never become an astronaut; I poop too much SpaceX NASA #CrewDragon2

When typing ‘vibe’ on my phone, before I type the last letter my phone tries to autocorrect ‘vib’ to ‘gin’. That’s the type of energy I’m looking for.