Bob the Builder: can we fix it? Bob’s Wife’s Attorney: please just sign the papers, Robert.

any chiropractors wanna hangout. like once a week in ur office

"What the cornbread fuck is a bone spur" Indeed.

S/O to the owners of the bowling alley for not kicking us out last night 🤣

just got the call... pour one up for duke today🕊

Shit doesn’t happen in a day, but if you let the days go by it wont happen in a year neither

Post a picture of your pet and then what your pet is named after.

my girl friend is hot as fuck god dam and she is smart as shit shes like albert einstein but with a fat ass

We*

If you paid $120 for a pair of Nike Air Force 1 shoes, you paid more to Nike than it paid in federal income taxes over the past 3 years, while it made $4.1 billion in profits and Nike's founder, Phil Knight, became over $23 billion richer. Yes. We must #TaxTheRich.

Thank you 2 chainz for honouring the troops

Might not talk to all my boys every day but they just gotta give me a call and I’ll be there

Let’s go!

every day I think about this woman going on the Eric andre show and her thinking it was gonna be a normal talk show. She tried to sue him after this. The most unserious man to walk this earth.