I love making people who already hate me hate me even more

when u sneeze in front of ur pet and they look at u like you’ve just offended their great ancestors

When people think you're tweeting about them. 😒

Ducks get all the chicks. Pun intended.

wen ur bae is Obama

I should build a helicopter that actually works.

There's a difference between being cocky and being confident.

@inscmniac Cute.

we’ve officially reached that annoying time in the year where it’s sweater weather in the morning, but by midday you die from a heatstroke.

family guy is literally my favorite show on the planet.

Boo.

Are you stalking me?

This guy literally makes me so happy I love my bestie 😂😁💕tyson the duck

Holy shit, I'm a fucking genius.

Tbh me and Tyson had our first argument but were still bestfriends but he's still a cunt hm :///

tyson the duck sent me nudes😱😱

Kylie tryna touch my dick.

I hate it when I get attached to someone easily