When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.

Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.

I don't have eating problems when I take Ambien, but the sex is OMG incredible! So I'm told.

The day the man with a dead cat on his head became president.... #Trump #USElection2016 #Clinton #trumpshock #HillaryForAmerica

Its better to love someone you can't have Then have someone you can't love . #truestory

"Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance." #gnash

Let's go, we can do 😂 x.com/liquidthoughtK…

Who will Rory end up with in the #GilmoreGirlsRevival ? 🎬📺👫 #gilmoregirls #TeamJess #Logan #RoryGilmore

Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

#SarahLombardi filmt #Pietro beim Streit! Damit beweist Sarah wie hinterhältig sie ist. #FREMDSCHÄMENHOCH10 #PIETROBLEIBSTARK #FAMEBITCH

Ich mag das YouTube-Video: youtu.be/RHXXkwr0ff0?a Katzen treffen ihre Besitzer nach langer zeit wieder!

Ich mag das YouTube-Video: youtu.be/tTvqtzRy2-4?a Bad Moms OST Scavenger Hunt Dreamers

Now watching #FormulaOne 📺🏎 Good luck #NicoRosberg 🖒

And the 2016 World Champion of #Formula1 is #NicoRosberg 👍👍👍 #AbuDhabiGP 🏎

Go Patriots 😎💪🏈 #SuperBowl #Patriots #ATLvsNE #TomBrady #football #AtlantaFalcons

Ronald Koeman who has wiped his ass with the jersey of Olaf Thon wants to tell of fairness and show! It's pure mockery! #Klopp is the best!

Cute dog licking yogurt: youtu.be/coGneLucKrI?a über YouTube

Cute Dog Couple: youtu.be/-1qT34pu1L0?a über YouTube