My server has tattoos and dark hair. I want her to yell at me

Tuesday pool day goes hard

Can’t wait to go get drunk and bark at tattooed women

Accidentally brought my car keys to the bar. Threat level midnight

Vanilla ice coffee with 3 shots espresso added got my insides feeling like Palestine rn

Aura farming by doing the Sunday crossword at the pub

She will be hearing from me tonight

Decision is final. Gonna drink so much tomorrow I won’t even be capable of thinking about her

Brother informed me the bartenders at my the old regular bar missed me. Feels great

Bar started playing blue strips and I swear the kanker sisters just walked in

Yeah just give me some time to come up with the cash

Lock in

What kind of socialist bullshit is this

Gonna throw circles on repeat and text her

Let me bet on the LLWS

One day I’ll have a wife. Until then I’ll close bars with the staff and teach my dogs new tricks til 4am

All this leftover Chinese food got my stomach feeling like Nanking in 1938

Can someone send me the instructions to tie a noose

Regardless of the outcome. This Saturday I will blackout. Sko Rebs

You hate war in the Middle East because you’re a liberal. I hate it because of higher gas prices