This app ain't my life I post whatever tf make me chuckle

THIS MAN WILL BE SNORING AND LOOK ME STRAIGHT IN MY FACE AND SAY "I WASN'T ASLEEP"

Therapist: You saw the red flags though, right? Me: I thought it was a carnival.

Chill with me at your own risk, I literally don't mind being quiet for 5 hours straight lol

Overthinking really did kill my happiness, but the thing is... I was right every time.

We All Got That One Cousin That Shoulda Been Our Brother/Sister

What you want exists, don't settle until you get it.

In the mood to love one person in every way for the rest of my life.

i like people who aren t fazed when i m dramatic, like just let me be i'll be done in like 10 mins

It takes two years to learn to speak and sixty to learn to keep quiet.

A super calm husband and extremely dramatic wife go so perfectly together.

Saying how you feel will never ruin a real relationship.

I was their friend, they weren't mine is a big lesson you learn in life.

I am absolutely delicious and I hate that mosquitoes know it.

Normalize waking up happy. Before the day even begin pray, shower, do some meditation

I will decline your call and text you "wassup?

i've had sandwiches i enjoyed more than entire relationships i been in

Stop asking for people skin care routine and change your pillow case.

To the first job who hired me. Thank you for accepting me without experience. I will never forget you.

Imagine cooking pancakes & dancing at 2:00 A.M. with the love of your life