Sliding this to 10 while my other trembling hand reaches for my service weapon

idk what it is about bards but they always want to like. destroy each other. and their rivalries are always at least a little homoerotic i'm surrounded by people w a theatrical bloodlust. this is fine

i was offered a 3-card tarot reading once but i really don't like the high possibility that they somehow flip over 3 towers in a row

any tips for not burning/nearly catching fire by stepping foot in a church? i think this deity is trying to 'ant under a magnifying glass' me

you gotta wear a big hat that’s the same color as the ground so that they can’t see you when they look down at the church. If it works for drones, it’ll work for this.

(Still acting weird) hey sorry for acting so weird earlier

i never even considered this. the logic is pretty sound. sun deity camouflage might just do it

sometimes the spirits of all the people i killed come back to haunt me for my terrible crimes and i'm like oh yeah i forgot i did that haha ok back to the soul jar with you.

stab indiscriminately

i actually think i’d do really well in an apocalyptic wasteland because i wouldn’t waste any time. i think my PTSD has well prepared me for a situation where it’s not possible for good things to happen ever again and i have to become Evil to survive

in the soothing summer rains, and gentle spring breezes, she will be with you always.

dude i know i promised to put up a barrier around you to intercept any curses but why are there so many. im constantly reapplying sigils and speaking the incantations but still the barrier looks absolutely fucked. who did you piss off why do they hate you so much

Anyone else feeling a kind of looming dread? ⓘ 𝙊𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨

give me a pack of newports and a single spell slot and i’ll save the realm

not fair that my leg and part of my side got sunburnt w/o even seeing the sun. hurts. need aloe or something

sometimes i wonder if my parents had some convoluted dowry situation for me. chances are they might've arranged for me to marry some guy

im not remarrying bc being related to me sends people to the shadow realm, but i'd like to have chests full of fancy monogrammed bullshit for the inconvenience of going through puberty twice