Do I be eating Indian food, or do it be eating me?

More shows should end before 10 PM.

I simply exist and the people around me love me and I will always be grateful and supportive of those people in return

My band is playing So What?! Music Festival tomorrow, and on Tuesday, my own barbershop opens. Yo wtf? How did my life get so freaking cool?

I’ve hit my old man era. I’m trying to save the trees and bushes we planted in the backyard, so I had to learn how to fix the sprinkler system and about different fertilizers.

I’m stuck in a Lyft and he’s playing Lady Gaga . He gave me water and is nice though.

Cold brew goes right through me. 🥵

#NewProfilePic

All of my friends and I thought for a long time that we were just funny lil’ guys, but it turns out that we’re just autistic. That explains SO MUCH.

The Amish are allowed a Religious exemption to social security. I am not. Can anyone explain how this is NOT a 14th amendment violation?

I called my wife from work telling her that I almost pooped my pants while cutting hair. She didn’t judge me or make fun of me. That’s a good relationship right there.

The last 4 years in America were designed to break people so that they would accept red flavored globalism.

Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return. Ours is a God Who makes beautiful things out of the dust. Ours is a God Who makes beautiful things out of us. Repent, and believe in the Gospel.

But then someone makes a speech, and they forget it all....

Free speech has no value if it doesn't allow expression of ideas we dislike.