If my essays dont contain atleast 5 puns, I have failed

I wonder how long it will be before tories start throwing scraps of food into an arena for people to fight over. On the plus side, they could hire private business to: dispose of the bodies, provide the scraps, and sell tickets It's just good fiscal policy, tbh. #FreeSchoolMeals

How does a company, profiting off child poverty by buying bulk food with state funds and portioning it out like a Dickensian villain, just "apologise"? #FreeSchoolMeals

Deviled Egil *send tweet*

Has anyone written an essay comparing and contrasting Dante's divine comedy with My Immortal as parodic fanfiction yet? Because, I'd quite like to read that essay

I've just programmed a keyboard to recite passages of Old Norse Sagas. I guess you could say it's MIDI-eval

New drinking game: everytime someone says "liminal" in an essay, take a shot. Thereby finding yourself in a liminal state between consciousness and ndjsjfjekdnfj

Are medievalists alright? Do they need a hug? I keep reading passages saying that some argument or another has been "eviscerated" "destroyed" or that it is "fundamentally worthless". Mate, have a cuppa and relax.

Medieval philosophers be writing like a middle class philosophy student speaks when he finds a dealer that isn't just selling him overpriced oregano. Ergot, not even once

Medieval scribes be mixing up letter forms like my illiterate arse when I try to come up with an alternative for "however"

Well meaning person: "dont judge a book by its cover" Random codicologist: *stops licking BL MS 69* "the f@ck did you just say to me?!"

Some highlights from a presentation I just took part in: "On the balance of probabilities, scribes had legs" "If it walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, a looks like a duck, it is probably an east-anglian manuscript" I dont deserve to be doing an MA

I've come to the conclusion that I probably shouldn't read secondary sources when I've been drinking. Not because I find it difficult to take in or anything like that; but because if I disagree, I start arguing with my computer screen for longer than is socially acceptable

So, I've started studying with a 10 hour version of "SugarCrash!" on loop. Would that count as evidence for mitigating circumstances or...?

I dont know who needs to see this but... Medieval scribe getting angry because a mouse stole his cheese

Let's play: why do I have a headache today? Is it because im: thirsty, tired, hungry, hungover, staring at a computer screen for hours straight writing essays, going through nicotine withdrawals, or just plain old fashioned dumb luck? The correct answer is: "all of the above"

I legit wrote 4000 words about reading books as an act of consumption and how that relates to manuscript preservation just so I could make a pun about annotations extending "the shelf life" of the medieval manuscript. See you in academic hell, f*ckers