CONFIRMED: one of the #CBBUS3 cast members reached out to me because we work at the same company! Can’t wait to see Clippy stir up drama this season on celebrity big brother!

Valerie told me today she wants to walk to visit me at school. Going from hating me to willing to walk 144 miles to see me is a big step in our relationship

A core memory of mine is last night when Valerie waited at the back porch for me to come home and running over to me and hugging me for two minutes screaming ASHEEES HOMEE

I am literally going to be in Bloomsburg for 12 days this entire month (not even full days) and I’m now convincing myself to make it 11

#foodcoma

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

Elmo is in Elmo's Red era! #TheElmosTour

Elmo.

One of the main reasons I remain on Twitter is bc the Elmo one liners kill me

I have to wake up at 5:30AM, do I stay awake for speak now Taylor’s version anyway??

I haven’t used this app in months but I want it on record that Jason Kelce and Kylie Kelce waved to me at separate points in tonight’s game and a video of me exists on Travis Kelces phone This night is my new personality Also 3 home runs in 4 batters are you kidding me

None of these new Phillies haters after the loss on Tuesday better buy home opener tickets next season

Why did they have to lose Game 6 and 7?

Eagles lost Kelce, cox, and swift this past week. Don’t text

Going to 3 Phillies games within the next 7 days. Baseball season is so back 👏

Lowkey greatful to be on call for work sometimes bc it gives me the perfect excuse to do NOTHING

Bark bark bark #RingTheBell

Freedie Freeman is the World Series. End of tweet.

All of the Kenny Pickett haters these past 7 days owe him an apology