working in an office is "how was your weekend" and "what are you doing this weekend" until you die.

there is no such feeling like making direct eye contact with an old man who has cream cheese on the sides of his mouth from his 5am airport bagel.

Chicago saw the sun today and assumed it was warm, when it’s actually 28 outside. Therefore, not a single soul is wearing the correct jacket.

Hey there Delilah, what’s it like in Roku City.

quitting my job so I can walk around River North all day every day, for no reason at all...

after 7 sessions with my new therapist she told me she's proud of me today. so I'm done with therapy because I have healed and I am perfect.

I can’t stop thinking about the Four Seasons Orlando baby and now I think I want kids????????

brb, causing chaos in Atlanta

Y’all need to STOP putting your PHONE on the floor of the public RESTROOM.

too bad when you win gold the song has to be your national anthem and the olympics doesn't just let you pick any song to karaoke 🙄

yeah I went to church* today. *listened to an old man sing hymns on the bus.

First, the pilot on my flight flirted with me. Then, United’s tv has CHALLENGERS!!!! I am HOt and boTHered. 🥵

Just some of the great cosplays I saw today at #d23 !

all nipped up in Trader Joe’s with nowhere to go.

october the 4th be with you

“You are so cute. You’re like a giant red headed sexy lady.” - woman at wedding to me. would appreciate if not for the word GIANT.

And Just Like That, it's spring in Chicago where the snow is melting & uncovering all of the frozen dog shit. I Couldn't Help But Wonder... maybe I too have shit to uncover.

the closest Chili’s to the Chicago river is 12 miles away.

I had a ziploc bag full of Totino's Pizza Rolls pizza rolls for dinner, so I guess you could say I’m mentally at my peak.

Just ate some loose tictacs from the bottom of my purse. Maybe I’ll turn into a witch and I won’t have to work anymore.