Genitalia is such a grownup word.

Fighting with a friend? Get back at her by seasoning her favorite meats with vape juice

PSA: True friends don't make you pee on them.

Apparently it is "frowned upon" for me to look through my patient's phone while I'm doing surgery on them.

To all the men who have used the condoms that I gave them, #HappyFathersDay.

It took me 8 minutes to correctly spell resuscitationist. #smaccUS

Ketamine 100,000 mg = a good weekend #smaccUS

I've dropped enough to know this is true! #smaccUS x.com/bodymender_n_e…

Lab technicians are so 👎🏿

Got my intern Stumps to craft me a handicap sign for my Hummer. She's proving to be valuable.

A sphincter says what

Your penis is exactly 3x the width of your chin. #fact

Reduce, recycle, reuse. Our new needles policy.

#calfimplants

♋️♑️♌️ #approved

From the man who made his living talking... x.com/thedrphilshow/…

Lost a risky gamble of fart vs shart

*Hands poison* Cheers!

almost touched a butt today

Here's a tip: If you have a broken leg, drinking absinthe will help.