i can't wait for that point in my life where i never have to go to bed alone

*puts mistletoe on my butt so you can kiss my ass*

if someone ever sang all of me by john legend to me I'd probably die

WHY ISNT A GROUP OF SQUIDS CALLED A SQUAD?!

My Talents: speed texting, procrastination, and sarcasm.

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

do you ever just realize you’re almost an adult and you have no money

Wearing an oversized shirt and no pants is probably the most comfortable thing in life.

me: better check my phone for texts from friends me: *checks phone* me: better get some friends

I REALLY WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH SOME PEOPLE BUT I JUST CANT START CONVOS ITS NOT THAT IM SHY I JUST REALLY SUCK AT BEING HUMAN.

what doesn’t kill you doesn’t kill you

effort is attractive.

if anyone ever breaks your heart just remember they are only human and you can break their body

we need a universal hand signal for "my parents don’t know about that"

Reasons You Should Want To Get More Sleep - epphany.com/site/post/457?…

Amazing Skin Clearing Food - epphany.com/site/post/152?…

i hate looking ugly the first time i meet someone like wait i can do better than this i swear

i

Everybody has that one friend that just doesn't have a clue.

I love when people shut the fuck up