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see this watch? i got it by Crying. my car? crying. my beautiful wife? Crying. My perfect teeth? Crying. now get the fuck out of my office

Every decade LA is like “we did it. We found the worst mayor,” and then NYC is like “our new mayor is a horse that stomps once for ‘yes’ and twice to notify his neighbors that he is a convicted sex offender.”

I’d have committed Seppuku on a day-old bear claw if that happened to me

THE LYING CONTINUES: In 2017, Tim Walz was seen drinking from a “World’s Greatest Dad” mug, even though no such international contest was held that year

An important reminder on #NationalDogDay

chef boyardee: kamala harris should set aside one day a week for eating ravioli

So transphobic he deadnamed his own company

I would give up access to Ai forever for like a hot dog

To embrace bipartisanship, Kamala Harris must purchase crypto from Donald Trump.

"Are you free to hop on a quick call?"

"The mayor of New York has been arrested for corruption" sounds like the preamble that would appear before a 90s beat-em-up game, and I'm here for it. I'm ready to fight identical guys and gain health with street chicken. I'm going to change my name to "Blaze."

Better keep giving him weapons. That'll show him!!!

“Israel says” is not journalism.

When I was like 6 if I slept at my grandparents house sometimes I would tell them “I can’t sleep.” and my grandpa would say like “sleep is the only safety from the devil in the darkness” And my grandma would yell at him and have to sleep in the same room as me lol

I’m now a single issue voter

Not to start political drama on the timeline but why is the queen of another government voting in our election????

my four year old just woke up, took a look at the tv, and with a single tear rolling down his cheek said to me “call us jd vance’s couch, cuz we are fucked”

It is important that we learn nothing from this

Many states are now experimenting with AI functions that could transform how they operate and interact with residents and businesses. Our Melissa Maynard shares 3 reasons why we're paying close attention to the trend—and you should too. pewtrsts.org/42AAqYR