Gosh I dont want to work today..... i just wanna sleep in my bed and do nothing with my life!!

A grown man? With blonde hair?

[touching his protein powder] promise you'll stop .. for me

went on a date with this guy and he snapped when he agreed with something I said

why is my future in my hands, i’m just a girl

do i want mushrooms on my pizza? oh yeh sounds great and while you’re at it, scrape the mold off your shower tile and spread it all over my ham sandwich, you piece of shit

sorry for being a perfect sweetie and a genius it will likely happen again

if that’s your personality it’s fine just don’t do it around me

she’s in a better place now (in bed with a book)

how your email finds me

the digital marketing team today

I can play it by ear if I have advance notice that we are going to be playing it by ear