me to the gas attendant I just gave 20 bucks to for not even 4 gallons of gas

they’re a 10 but they drink milk. still a 10 right?…. RIGHT?! Nah I’m just kidding, I hate milk! hahahahahailovemilksomuchhahahaha

Finding out your teacher for the next school year was one of the most electric days of summer vacation

I will never understand how people walk around with their ass-crack out. Like how do you not feel that? Or how do you not care?… I am very conscious of my ass-crack’s visibility at all times.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve swung on a swing. Being an adult sucks.

If you asked 5th grade me what I thought 2022 was going to look like, this would have been my answer

those “hey dude” shoes are quite possibly the ugliest fuckin things I’ve ever seen

my dad somehow just discovered Lonely Island today and has been laughing at Dick in a Box for an hour straight now

just saw my mailman pull up to the liquor store in the mail truck. He either flew through his shift and needs a beer or I am definitely getting the wrong mail

Damn please not PNB

Rest in Peace, PnB Rock. Your legacy will live on 🕊 Full details: cmplx.co/3RUofOs

#NewProfilePic

yesterday i was in an uber and my driver got frustrated in traffic and yells “ITS NOT ROCKET SURGERY”… no sir, it is not. i don’t think anything is rocket surgery. He definitely mixed up two sayings but who am i to judge? i’m no rocket surgeon.

i am convinced the majority of Philadelphia’s population doesn’t truly understand how crosswalks really work

one time in college i went on a wawa run w a few friends and one of my buddies says to another “guess what i got. it’s pretty out of left field” and my other buddy immediately responds “a gobbler”. He was right, everyone laughed, it was great. I think about that interaction often

the next big booty mix has to throw in a “thank you brother ☝🏻” before a beat drop

watched Lord of The Rings for the first time this week and my biggest takeaway is that Frodo really the biggest bitch i’ve ever seen

This move is so elite it’s gotten flags thrown and chris brown shot