The booth has been compromised; we have puppies

Me being dogpiled for 3 innings by the entire ironbirds press box for disliking apple picking

Immediate regret

I’m literally right and I refuse to pay money to a business to do work for them AND then pay for the product. They are making money 3x over bc social media aesthetic markets it as fun

Support for unions remains at its highest point in 50 years, according to new Gallup polling.

My neighbors fly a flag that’s just a picture their house

I straight up did not apply to work in baseball, btw. I just started sewing stuff and they liked my vibes and asked if I wanted to do stuff

The salami lid

Been giving my dog soup out to my friends with dogs like a benevolent witch

I don’t think all of the people using the word eunuch are aware of what it means

Dinner

A graph of how attractive a person is vs how recoverable their accidental public farts are would be a singular upward diagonal

In September he will come home. Manifesting it, hoping you’ll all do the same. In September I’ll see him again.

This happened to me when I was like 10 and I honestly don’t think I ever recovered

I went to a party last week with the dress code “oddball black tie” so I wore an astronaut costume but made it formal and added a tie. I will just say mine was not a similar mindset to that of the other guests

I met a dog antivaxx person once at our local park, told some people and now everyone leaves when she shows up lol

Having a baby under 26 should count as a teen pregnancy bc are you kidding