Aretha was stepping on that toe bad

I want me a hoodie blanket

I'm really tired of it being 37 degrees every fucking day.

The drunk

Accepting you were never their type

The food scientist at Tostitos who added that lil hint of lime

the company cameras watching me talk alone while I work:

I saw an insane and stupid take but I just ignored it because the person was 23, which is emotionally and intellectually equivalent to being 16 years old these days.

One thing about me, I can always clock when somebody used to have a harelip.

Uber Eats is TAKING my money chile

Boys love letting their phone die at work

Finna get me some of that dl Scooby doo trade mhmm oh yes

Where is the estrogen laced crack?

not seeing any trans people in the files btw

Woke up black again

I don't get how people can just sit down RAW on a public toilet seat like that's beyond gross

Idc bout no superbowl dolly bouta tear them ho’s up tonight

#Them not saying excuse me is certainly not an exclusively American thing. It’s a #them worldwide thing

Just stopped this seagull from taking my plantain chips and he gon walk away and start cackling. Baby it’s you that’s the joke!

If your baby needed three cents for a kidney, you wouldn't get it from me, bitch. Know this shit.