One day they'll say the same about me. One day.

Don't want to start a debate but if you're in a place and realise you've been there before i don't think you should be shouted at for saying that you've "pre come".

Back at my mums. She's got the radio on. Singing along. "I'M HORNY, HORNY HORNY HORNY. I'M HORNY, I'M... Contemplative pause. "I'm not horny at all."

Valentine's Day is over. Valentine's Night has begun.

I'm top of the charts baby!

Very jealous of my sister's vintage Spice Girls t-shirt.

Looking at that first Pepsi logo wondering wtf happened.

Appropriate uses for the #emergencyalert Terror attack Second pandemic Attenborough dead Well hot day Proper rainy week DFS 50% sale ends David Jason arrested KFC runs out of chicken again It comes home

Why would I stay in London when I can move back north and get parched pea gift sets on the regular?

Oh NOW you tell me

Having the subtitles on during #Eurovision2023 really helps!

When someone tells me to vote for anyone but Finland #Eurovision2023

Any of these classic lines usually work for me.

On new horniness scale just dropped. Not sure what the bottom end is called, but at the top is Bill Clinton's Satanic Fire Cock.

Same

When and why did we stop fitting marionettes with movable breasts?