GET ME. THE FUCK. OUTTA. THIS HOSPITAL.

i cant have a smoke today. imma snap.

just got out the xray. muhfuckas better let me go home.

having a sleepover with two German chicks and fucking dominguez is sleeping on the floor.

i swear the only thing that takes longer than getting rid of aids is the wait time in a military pharmacy.

ugh

how tf yall getting pregnant? fucking stop, every chick i used to talk to popped a lil mfer out already.

when your friend asks u for a condom but rejects the one u give him bc he says he only fits into magnums

beer pong in the room tonight be there or be sphere

when youre doing research for a chem paper but accidently discover a great slam metal band.

when you trying to figure out how far her throat goes.

What the fuck even is twitter

Fuck what you heard, that raindrop droptop shit is the new marco polo.

Fr could have stayed in the barracks but not I'm here listening to people whomstdve I don't give a fuck about

bro im trying to be a shit bag can you let me sham in peace? stop asking me questions like youre my dad. #fuckingprivates #shamsheild

is eggsma contagious

me when i see anything wrong or out of place in a movie basically "that wouldnt actually happen because _____."

every time i see someone without a deployment patch in public i flex hard as fuck and only face them with mine.

same x.com/krazyriahriah/…