I have no desire to know anything about Ellie Goulding

I cannot believe there is even one person in the world who likes this shitass flavor

I’ve been having a Beau is Afraid type morning

The texture of this toilet paper is major.

winner winner ghost pepper wings

one man’s treasure is another guys gold

I have fallen on the floor for the fourth time. This is no longer charming.

I’m definitely sitting next to a first date and they say they both deeply fear spiders. underneath their table are just cobwebs. they don’t know it but they are fighting their fears together.

someone roll me a winter comfort

Someone roll me an autumn sunrise

Thinking about yo mama jokes and Lala de la Grana. Wondering what joke she’ll tell next!

They tell me there are other fish in the sea but no one wants to play mermaids with me

When life gives you lemons, DONT TAKE ‘EM! Buy your own. Be in charge of your own destiny.

Today I choose fierce.

I love square pizza. Sorry

buhdoi! can’t do nothing like my bidet

BREAKING: the shooter at FSU, 20-yr old Phoenix Ikner was the son of a Leon County Sheriff’s deputy, and was an active member on the Youth Advisory Council. Ikner used his deputy mother’s old handgun that he had access to and was found on scene. (According to Sheriff Walt

Does anyone want to purchase any of my fucking antique lamps ?

Breaking: Nice warm bowl of soup receives 18 minute standing ovation at Cannes

It’s so cold and I’m so sick . I understand why Victorian ppl used to just die