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god forbid a woman just wants to lay in bed and do nothing

i’m scared to go to an art museum because what if they decide to keep me

katy perry and gayle king in space

As a man you’re automatically on thin ice with me

i lost my job chapstick n now my car chapstick is in my work bag n my room chapstick is in my car n everything is just a fucking mess

It doesnt sit right with me that we dont have another name for when your cousin has a baby. Like who is that to me? Also my cousin? No he's not

the lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter

when a girl says “5 mins” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter and both teams have all their timeouts

i like driving by myself. i just played the same 1 song 36 times

yes, even siblings don't get the same parents

how I look when I'm about to crash out

“for the plot” i say as i actively ruin my life

i swear to fuck that zebra from madagascar is trapped inside my door im sick of people calling me crazy for it

i don’t play about my nonverbal time

"people you may know" & it's someone i would set on fire