i made shrimpy salt bread during todays snowstorm 🦐🥐

Biscuit

I hate myself

i spent the night at my parents & while i was gone my “i don’t want a cat” boyfriend is out here letting kitty sleep in the bed & cooking her halibut 🤣

I think I’m too tall for these tiny ass cars I keep banging my head trying to get out of my Uber’s cars

Controlling you makes me better #ScottPilgrim

Cueball (1/4)

beepaw eating habits

her eyes are as green as pickles. her freckles are spread across her face like a perfect sesame seed bun. her cheeks as rosy as tomato. her beautiful mustard hair… ketchup tinted lips… her cheesy smile… and her patties… 😍 she’s my burger

i just created something amazing

Meanwhile my job will publicly skin me alive if I get any amount of overtime

This is what my boyfriend does every time I upset him

Is there a fucking RACCOON IN MY CEILING

🧊officer came in parading his badge by setting it on the counter in front my Hispanic employee so I squished his tomatoes and called it a day

HELP ME PLEASE. A MAN NEEDS HIS NUGGS