ppl who use “they was born in a different generation” as an excuse for old ppl being homophobic is so fukin LAME, bitch danny devito is 73 n at la pride RN having the time of his life wearing a rainbow feather boa, u guys r just crusty pieces of SHIT

Teaching each other n stuff.

||: There’s a ... BATIM acc i follow ?

Tony: *starts chasing Steve with a broom* Steve: *Runs for dear life and hides from Tony* Tony: "Come on Cap, I know you are here." Steve: "Uh....he is not hear at the moment please leave a message after the beep..Beep—" Shit way to go Steve, good job..

tony: you little son of a bitch peter: you’re not a bitch mr. stark!

The closest I’ve ever come to having a personal relationship with God is when Amazon sent a package to my address for someone who didn’t exist, told me I could keep it, and inside were pants exactly my size.

dansplainer A few weeks ago I found a dog, took her to the vet and got her scanned for a microchip, found her owner and took her home, told my friends how much I wished I had a dog of my own, less than 12 hours later I FOUND A SECOND DOG WHO WASNT MICROCHIPPED AND IS MINE NOW

Peter: ᵐʳ ᵗʰᵒʳ, ʷʰʸ ᵈᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢⁿᵃᵏᵉˢ ˢᵒ ᵐᵘᶜʰ Thor: because i- Peter: ᵃⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ᵇˡᵒⁿᵈᵉ ʰᵃᶦʳ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵃ ᵍᵒˡᵈᵉⁿ ᵗʰʳᵒⁿᵉ Thor: pETER- Peter: ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵀᵃʸˡᵒʳ ˢʷᶦᶠᵗ Thor: tony, your turn i'm done with your kid

Mehr Pᴇᴛᴇʀ Qᴜɪʟʟ * Sᴛᴀʀ Lᴏʀᴅ * ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋ﹣ʙᴀɴᴛᴇʀ﹣SLꜱ ₂₁﹢﹐ ᴍᴜʟᴛɪᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ/ꜱʜɪᴘ ɪɴ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ Gᴜᴀʀᴅɪᴀɴ ꜱϙᴜᴀᴅ 💗ғᴏʀ ᴀ DM 🚀ᴛᴏ ᴊᴏɪɴ ᴍʏ ꜱϙᴜᴀᴅ RTꜱ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇʟʏ!

In the middle of having a heart to heart conversation my boyfriend unexpectedly sends me this screen recording...

When your bank shuts off your card because "spending lots of money is not part of my spending pattern" 👌😂👌

dr palmer looks like regina george

||: it came out a little fucked up ( arms :( ) but ill fix it eventually

me, during lectures: x.com/totallyshuri/s…

uwu

||: I wanna host a game of drawful 2

Sneezes.

Tony: you’re eating habits are really unhealthy Peter Peter: [bites a carrot] ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ. ᴺᵒʷ ᴹᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᴺᵃᵗᵘʳᵉ ᶦˢ ᵐʸ ᵇᶦ⁻ Strange:PETER Peter: ᵇᶦᶜʸᶜˡᵉ ˢᵉᵃᵗ. ᴵ’ᵐ ᵍᵒᶦⁿᵍ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃ ʳᶦᵈᵉ ʷᵃⁿⁿᵃ ᶜᵒᵐᵉ? Strange: ಠ_ಠ

if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that one time i didn't understand that my waiter was just trying to give me my change, so i fist bumped him instead