Doctors should circumcise RFK Jr’s vocal cords so no one has to listen to medical advice from a heroin addict.

If a hemorrhoid was a person, it would be Stephen Miller.

Kristi Noem: Mirror, mirror on the wall. Why can’t I just deport them all? Mirror: Wrong cartoon, Skelator.

Pam Bondi was 1000% a high school hall monitor that everyone hated.

Who knew the word crematorium also means Donald Trump’s mouth.

NYC yts still say MAGA because they know it means, “Mexicans Ain’t Going Anywhere.”

Erika Vance is nothing more than Temu Tammy Faye.

People that are freaking out about Zohran becoming the next NYC mayor are 1) a bigot and 2) not from the city.

Pete Hegseth looks like his favorite part of the 12-step program is the 13th one. That’s when you relapse.

Greg Bovino is so tiny that he has to use a step ladder to read people their rights. Guys, I’m kidding! 🧊 doesn’t read people their rights.

With all these tariffs, Americans are gonna have to start putting groceries on layaway.

During a press conference, KKKaroline Levitt dismissed Donald Trump’s “piggy” remark. Of course she doesn’t think it’s a big deal because when they’re alone he calls her a stupid cцnt.

During a press conference, KKKaroline Levitt dismissed Donald Trump’s “piggy” remark. She doesn’t think it’s a big deal because when they’re alone he calls her a stupid cцnt.

Last week, Donald Trump unveiled his brand new Trump 47 handgun because nothing stops gun violence like more guns.

How strong is the wееd nowadays? I just smoked a joint and my iPhone didn’t recognize my face type of strong.

Donald Trump loves Irish whiskey but not Jameson 18 because it’s too old.

Donald Trump loves to put his name on things like buildings, crypto, the Epstein files but we’re all just patiently waiting for him to put his name on a tombstone.

With all these illegal choke holds by ICE agents, you’d think Derek Chauvin was the head of DHS.

Donald Trump loves to see his name on things like buildings, crypto, but we’re waiting to see his name on a tombstone.

Donald Trump loves to see his name on things like buildings, crypto, but we’d love to see his name on a tombstone.