I'm laxbro intolerant.

Hot Take: Edger Wright is wrong and I'll take an exterior skyline shot of New York anyday.

I've never looked at anyone as intensely as I look at myself while washing my hands in a public bathroom.

Big congrats to Bert and Ernie for coming out to CNN today! <3 #BertandErnie cnn.com/2018/09/18/ent…

If Dr. Ford screamed like an angry drunk and cried during her opening statement, she would be immediately labeled as "hysterical" and "unstable" by Republicans. #KavanaughHearings

I just typed encyclopedia and Microsoft Word suggested 'google' as an alternative spelling.

I'm convinced everyone with the name Amber is lost from someone. #goodluckAmbers

I get discouraged thinking about how long it took for humans to start wearing clothes.

As a country I think we need to sword fight more. Guns just make us look lazy, #moreswordslessguns

Nothing scares kids more then telling them 'dinosaurs once were real but now they're all dead'....except maybe the Santa thing.

It's sad that a bush can't grow up to be a tree, that's like saying "sorry baby this is all you will ever be."

Trump's so power hungry, I'm pretty sure he has NASA working on something so he can poop standing up.

I'm afraid to get swamp ass because I assume it comes with eels and alligators.

Fly's invented the fly swatter in their attempt to take over Wimbledon ...Boy did that plan backfire!

Buddy cop movies restore my faith in our police system in a way our Judicial system never will.

People don't realize The Battle of the Bands took place in Gettysburg and many Drummers, on both sides, lost their lives.

Come check out Rumble in another double header weekend! Tonight, Friday 8/4 8:00pm for Friday Night Riot at The... fb.me/1dsHbnxJS

Look! Molly Scullion is a star of rocks! Go to this show -- don't be stupid! fb.me/xwhhI9Xd

It's Molly Scullion Birthday today! She's the greatest of them all! One time Molly tried running away from me,... fb.me/39tKaSZgA

Ahh geezee. I gotta be more careful with my dollars.