GOD BLESS ANTARCTICA HAMBURGER GLOVE STAND INSIDE HERB HANG GLIDERS IN THE PLACE WHERE NINJAS FALL IN LOVE

I wonder how many of my followers are just sticking around cuz they're dead?

NOM NOM

#taptapfish Download: onelink.to/jhe4sh sorry I'm really really bored

Check It Out: Of Mice & Men (Of Mice & Men) drop unrelenting new single “Mushroom Cloud” bit.ly/2IWQEUF

I get up at Bird O'Clock now. Deal with it

I'm so excited to have found this Link To the Past manga book. Hoooly shiiiiit my childhoooood #RETROGAMING

Also got a bird book cuz I'm that kind of nerd now too

Cat ate my chair

OH SHIT

My memory is so weird. I remembered my login info for this account which I created in 2009, but not for my recent one that I created like.. last year. Oh well Sup y'all

Dear Cool People, they didn't name a candy after you, did they? Love, Nerds.

ME: *falls into a woodchipper* RICK SANTORUM: quick, someone do CPR

I forgot I took this screenshot the other day. Sometimes, my Twitter feed adds to the Swear Trek punchline and it makes my day.

Hey if a public bathroom door is locked don't forget to try to repeatedly open it and give the person using it paralyzing anxiety

Idea: a time-travelling salad. You only eat it once and then you fast forward to the future where you're already thin and you can stop eating fucking salad.

SMOKE DETECTORS SAVE LIVES! ALSO YOU CAN WIN A GUN HERE! #signsinmcadoo