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Jennifer who dumped me in Junior High now wants me to like her interior decorating Facebook page. Oh, how the tables have turned Jennifer.

The Mayo Clinic is just a regular clinic but it’s really good on sandwiches

but I want everything I want

Love letters and rain.

My neighbor saw me following the roomba with a vacuum and now I have to move

Stop putting things off, stop waiting to say i love you, stop waiting for a special occasion to use the good shit, stop waiting for someone to call that you know never will..live for today and do it all before it’s too late.

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Nothing you say makes sense until I wear my glasses.

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

"Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by "Wham" is my favourite song about wanting to slap someone if they did that.

all big words, none of good deeds

Happy Friday the 13th from Taormina

"That's enough Twitter for today" I think before I open it up & refresh all day

I hate to see good people live in deluluville, and it happens all too often.

I would do unspeakable things to have you want me in equal measure

I could just do it, but it’s so much hotter when you tell me to

Everyone named Jason should get one free murder today or somethin'.

Scarecrows are known to love corn on the macabre.