nothing about me would change if i got a lobotomy

President Snow. The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping – in theaters November 20, 2026.

the noise that just left my body

when twins aren’t identical i’m like ok then what was the point of all that

I wish I could send TikToks to my cat

One of my longest standing hobbies is thinking about whether I should get an iPad. It’s not about the iPad it’s about imagining the alternate life I might live as someone who has an iPad. Love to wonder about it

they should invent a man that is a good person

I went up to men at the bar and asked them if they listened to Clairo or drank matcha and they all said no. And now I’m tweeting. It’s their fault

Abolish geico

Notice how Lorde has a song called tennis court and not pickleball court tired of yall pushing that fake sport

sort a to z... great. now show me z to a. interesting. let me see oldest to newest

How Spanish teachers talk about vosotros

gonna let my hair air dry real quick and then we can go just give me like 7-10 hours

DICK CHENEY is dead

huge day for insane people like me

the reason minneapolis and st. paul get to be called "the twin cities" but dallas and ft. worth don't is because texans have yet to discover the concept of feeling kinship with other human beings

smokin on that shit that made Condo lease a rice

Fuck that fucking groundhog. No wonder he showed up on the Epstein files. Fucking pervert