emergency hotdog that heats up when you crack it like a glow stick

if this photo reaches your timeline, everything will be okay ❤️

😃

I don’t have the energy to argue this.

I love this for him.

Hey, Brian Posehn, I just happen to have a mint condition Grommets #1 that I might be willing to part with for a very reasonable price.

Instead of showing clips from films at the Oscars, they should show tweets that the stars secretly liked.

customer: I have a question about my account bank teller: withdrawal? customer: oh sorry, ah have a question about mah account

My dinner tonight will be gluten-free, dairy-free, plant-based, frozen "pepperoni" pizza. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Wow, remember when I tweeted this way back when? It finally here - I’ll be at Origins Game Fair in Ohio this Friday and Saturday!

This older gentleman with his shirt off has a great message that I think everyone should hear. “Every hundred years, there’s all new people…”

Happy Fourth of July, or as I like to call it, three finger Thursday! 🇺🇸

So proud to be a part of Lessons In Chemistry with all its Emmy nominations today!

I used to listen to Bob Newhart’s comedy albums. His dry comedy style was a huge influence for me. He was a master of less is more. Getting to meet him and watch him work on Big Bang was huge for me. RIP

1) Happy birthday Willem Dafoe. 2) He is fantastic in that movie. 3) Knowing that he's been doing yoga for decades and seeing him entering his 70's with this much verve makes me think there's something to the yoga.

Social media in a nutshell.

This guy made a spectacular rube Goldberg style project Wait for it x.com/visualfeastwan…

This is extremely cool.

Update on my fitness journey: at the farmers' market my wife handed me a bag of celery and said, "careful, it's heavy."