I’m not that into astrology but whenever I meet somebody and I don’t know how to talk to them/it feels awkward/I can’t read them, I ask them their birthday and 9/10 times they’re a Libra

Hag is in town

Best friend just got back with her ex. I’m going to rip my own hair out.

Big salad w/ chickpeas, pomegranate, goat cheese & roasted chicken breast IS brat

Need to talk to a body of water about this…

Why does he look like he’s about to go do k and hit the studio with Shygirl and Björk?

I think beer doesn’t count as alcohol in the Winter

I only approve of public displays of affection (PDA) in two instances: 1) lesbians 2) you want to kiss John after he’s had two mezcal negronis

Swiping my card and doing the nae nae>>>

Selling 2x tickets to the Men in Music Business Conference, dm serious inquiries only

I feel closest to god when I have Breakfast for Dinner

Haha red, I love colors

First day in Colombia, I’ve slept for 2 hours, fallen in love w/ at least 3 men (and 1 woman), drank 1.5 bottles of wine, ate like a king, made incredible professional moves, and I still have a full week ahead of me… El país de la belleza♥️

Discovering a new fruit feels like seeing a new color for the first time

The body keeps the score and I am losing

I saw Goody Horvath with the Devil

Who is patronizing those fast food businesses in the subway? We’re underground, I’m annoyed because my train is delayed, and it smells like pee.. I really don’t want Wetzel’s Pretzels right now

Henry, What Was That

Why did we all collectively agree that coconut water comes in those cardboard boxes? I don’t like those cardboard boxes.

Do you guys remember when they were making that perpetual stew at a park in Bushwick? The Biden years were so different