“Hey, quick question” - me asking a question that will require a lot of effort on your part

Gotta be careful w a woman who was recently laying down for a little bit. that activates something

i’m at a jazz show realizing that anyone who plays or has ever played a brass or woodwind instrument is objectively hot

Hot Virgo summer

I read the kite runner in high school so I, too, am an expert on all things Afghanistan

“She has an android so she’s not invited to the bachelorette group text.”

(Real quick, abortion isn't always a "tough choice" or "heartbreaking" and that framing is so weird. Sometimes it's a miracle and a no-brainer and a straightforward healthcare decision for everyone involved. Abortion is healthcare and a human right.)

If you do @ here in a general slack channel I’m calling the police

STILL MISSING: We are seeking the community's assistance to locate Alfred, a French Bulldog that was stolen at gunpoint on Tuesday, September 7th. Please call with any info on his whereabouts. tinyurl.com/ev638zsb #PGPD #FirsttoServe

everyone at trader joes is either a love interest or an enemy

Like clockwork, it’s my 28th birthday and I’m suddenly getting ads for wedding dresses

#BringAlfredHome It’s been 3 wks. I still need your help. Alfred was stolen at gunpoint in Capitol Heights, MD outside of DC. Washingtonian Problems 7News DC WTOP PoPville The Washington Post Lady Gaga Josh Rosenthal Jess Arnold PGPDNEWS #FrenchBulldog #StolenPet #StolenDog #Frenchie

Today is #NationalVoterRegistrationDay and The Alliance has the resources to get you #VoteReady. Check your registration status. ⬇️ National Voter Registration Day

If you recently ➡️ Moved ➡️ Changed your name ➡️ Turned 18 ➡️ Attained citizenship You may not be #VoteReady. Check your registration status today. #NationalVoterRegistrationDay

#WorldOsteoporosisDay is the perfect time to encourage loved ones to get a DXA scan. It measures bone density and helps assess your risk of #osteoporosis. Take the pledge to prioritize #BoneHealth today! #YesYouScan prevent the disease. healthywomen.org/yesyouscan