My 20 year old cousin got his own apartment and it's going pretty well

Me at the bar watching my dik gesuip brasse while they don’t know I’m about to stiek uit back with 14 sambucas

oprah: who said that shit meg: im not gonna say oprah: okay i respect that oprah: harry who said that shit to you

white people can’t say Qgeberha but have the confidence to order an Açai bowl.. I can’t do either of those things..

Spiderman: No Way Home

I WILL NEVER REMEMBER TO BRING A BAG FOR WOOLIES

this looks like a commercial for anxiety medication

just remembered this scene from lion king and how it had me thinking that maybe bugs taste good

Elon Musk is pushing an urgent update to all Teslas, to make them autonomously drive past Grimes’s house a few times each night (just to see if she’s home).

the problem with being someone who “stays hydrated” is driving around with 34 empty water bottles permanently bashing against one another…

This is objectively one of the funniest jokes/ gags ever told on film

This would fucking suck!

Baby giraffes when they're born

as the years go by, mall Santa’s start becoming less and less believable.. when will I be the fat man dressed in the suit? soon maybe.

Tearfully waving out the train window as my girlfriend runs alongside *45 minutes later* She's still keeping pace. It's inhuman. Everyone on the train is screaming. I'm begging her to stop but she can't hear me. Her eyes are pure white. Police helicopters circle overhead

in full swing..

Thomas the Tank Engine is the most stressful kids show ever. Alway some bullshit drama on the tracks. Nothing ever goes smoothly on that fucken island. Derailed trains, cargo spills, broken trains, it’s a fucken nightmare. Fuck this show.