fuck taxes

fuck technology

The worst financial decision I ever made was selling my Pokémon cards in the early 2000s.

Did you know Michael Stipe had a cameo in Lord of the Rings? Can’t believe I never spotted it before.

While Elon was squandering time and money putting things into space, these people, in Wembley, invented the frozen paratha. Two minutes from freezer to plate. The greatest culinary innovation this decade.

My cat, Bowie, keeps nagging to be let outside this morning. I’ve told him no and explained to him if I let him out he won’t be a cat, he’ll be a kite 🐈‍⬛🪁🌬️ #StormDaragh #StormDarragh

.Rory Sutherland saw this ad for Guerlain I think it might be one of the poorest I’ve seen this Christmas, because all I can imagine anyone thinking of is vacuuming.

The Berlin Wall has kept Mexicans out of Nottingham since 1943. I know because I saw it when I was in Woolworths this morning.

who was it that handed Elon Musk a bunch of UK political red meat? Was it you?!

Some people who really hated the political interference of other countries in 2016, reeeeeeally like it now.

New song: EVERYBODY IN AMERICA IS FEMALE patreon.com/mitchbenn

One day, there’ll be a film about Elon Musk’s 2025. A stab at a cerebral comedic heist movie - Vice meets Oceans 11. “I think there’s a way to become president… without becoming president - and hijack the whole f’in government” It’ll be shit, its central character is a husk.

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Since watching Fantastic Four: First Steps I have been randomly saying “Shalla Bal” (name of the movie’s version of Silver Surfer) like how Sean Paul says his own name in songs - eg “Shonna Paaal”. SHALLA BAAAL Try it. You’re welcome.

M&S and Tesco marketing: “F*** you. We’re gonna sell the sandwich you’d make from whatever you could lay your hands on whilst incredibly high OR aged 5 when your mum was napping. You’ll buy it in curiosity and post about it, good lil b****.”