Driving home yesterday I saw two crows in a yard and said out loud, to myself: "Hey, it's an attempted murder" then laughed like a maniac for thirty seconds.

Imagine that you and your spouse are chilling in the hot tub, in beautiful Buena Vista CO, just enjoying yourselves under a carpet of stars. Suddenly the back of your head is gripped and tugged at...no worries, it's just a mountain lion. OH SHIT! Welcome to Colorado!

Check out FallonTonight's video! #TikTok tiktok.com/t/ZTRce9Byr/

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! Damn, the place has changed... #MyTwitterAnniversary

You traitorous 🍊 🤡!

instagram.com/reel/Cul9D06oo…

Hey everyone. I'm hardly on here anymore, everything is just so different. How is "geeenground"? Is it any good?

Read "‘Be outraged’: The New York Times finally acknowledges the dangers of Trumpian Fascism" on SmartNews: l.smartnews.com/p-35wbr/lehXc4 #SmartNews

Read "‘Be outraged’: The New York Times finally acknowledges the dangers of Trumpian Fascism" on SmartNews: l.smartnews.com/p-35wbr/lehXc4 #SmartNews

91 points and 991 yards of offense in the last 6 quarters. Fire Vance Joseph! #Broncos

What I like most about this dress is that navies cannot determine speed or distance. #MrsSunak